The only one who loves me
by darkloveforfanfiction
Summary: Twice, he lost his cool... Twice, he was prevented from finishing the job... but the third time he was sure he'd do it. Danny wouldn't let anything get in the way. Slightly dark Pitchpearl. Warning: Mentions of suicide attempts, depression, and slight slash. Rated M just in case.


Dang it! I said I hate sad stuff, I said it! Now I'm sad, and the only thing stopping me from flipping my desk is that there is a happy ending. That's the only thing! Not that I like putting my favorite characters through crap or anything. *Shifty eyes*

Yang: You loved it.

Shut up!

* * *

He was tired.

Just so tired of lying, no sleep, of disappointed looks, jealous friends, of _everything_ and_ anything_. Of bad grades, bullies, and avoiding chores. But most of all, he was tired of his parents' inability to understand and his friends' pettiness. All the time at home, it's all about killing, dissecting, and maiming Phantom. Not about their children, mainly Danny with his grades, sneaking out, and ignoring chores.

Aside from the occasional scolding, he was outright ignored by them, and it _sucked_. With his friends, it's moaning about saving lives, how he should be a hero and ruin his life by fighting ghosts rather than focusing on schoolwork. While they went and did whatever and got accepted in college, he would stay behind and they would move on and ignore him other then the occasional thrill. They even had the nerve to complain that he didn't spend enough time with them. It was so _aggravating_.

Ghosts? Painful in the morning, but worth it. Dash? Bruises galore, heal fast though. No sleep? Fucking painful, but he somehow managed.

He'd rather any and all of that if he wouldn't have to deal with the looks on their faces. So filled in disappointment, jealousy, and guilt that they hadn't raised him better. He wanted to scream in protest, to show them he wasn't a failure, that he didn't want his powers, but it all came out as a pained smile and a clenched out 'Morning' at the latest weapon. Or an encouragement that Sam and Tucker were awesome friends. Just like that, all his inner agony and screaming amounted to a mere whisper in his throat.

It could never make it past his mouth. Sometimes his lips formed words to say them, but the air in his lungs would disappear for unknown reasons, refusing to cooperate with him. Danny couldn't look in his own parents' eyes anymore, nor his friends without the painful whisper trying to escape him. Fluttering in his throat like a caged bird. He hated it. How trapped he was in his own mind.

It hurt so much, and one day, he couldn't take it anymore. He remembered that day, and the day he tried after that, and after that. Sometimes, having ghost powers sucked. Especially when he was suicidal.

"I hate you." Blue stared back at blue. The teen in front of him was exhausted. Long black hair fell into his face not quite covering his eyes. The whites of his eyes were red, clearly rubbed in and recently been crying.

"I hate you." He repeated, voice hoarse.

Danny trembled, knuckles white as he gripped the edges of the sink. Slowly, like a robot, he looked down at the item on the counter. The bottle of pills sat there mockingly, daring him to not mess up as he did last time.

Danny had a knife at first, he had chickened out the first time, too afraid to do it. The second time when Sam had decided to break up with him he finally did it. He had taken a huge chunk out of his own arm, knowing that his regular ghost healing wouldn't cut it for this one.

As if fate wanted to be cruel his powers got in the way by healing faster than normal, as if knowing this wound would kill him if not healed faster. Then he somehow got his hands on a gun. Don't ask how, but he did. He pulled the trigger, but for some reason his powers acted up and his head went intangible every time.

A lump appeared in his throat, hot tears welled up and threatened to spill over. Again. Danny reached down and gently curled his hand around the plastic bottle of Tylenol extra strength he stole from his Mom's bathroom.

He tried to calm himself as his fingers fumbled to open the bottle. Finally with a huge burst of strength, the bottle burst open and the pills went flying everywhere. He swore and franticly picked up all the blue, white, and red tablets in sight. Danny shoved them all back into the bottle and grit his teeth. Taking deep, even breathes, he peered into the bottle and thought about what he was about to do. A little tune he had been working on somehow made itself to his lips and whispered it, his voice hoarse from crying.

"Gun, Pills, or a knife." The weapons he chose flew through his mind and he felt his eyes start to burn.

"Which one sha-all take your life?" He wondered if this time would be the time he finally seceded. He wished.

He wondered how his family would react, how his friends would feel, "Hurry up now, time is quick." He sung softly, his voice seemingly tender if you didn't hear the rough edge to it, or see the state of his attire.

The halfa briefly wondered when they would find his body then shook his head with a bitter chuckle. Ha, fat chance. They wouldn't notice until hours later, only because they had to go to the bathroom, not that Danny was missing. Maybe a day? A week before they noticed? Well he would probably be rotting by then, they should smell it.

"Do it now cause life's a bitch." Oh wasn't that the truth, Danny sometimes wished he could just lock himself away in his comics, never to face real life again.

"Wish you can't and wish you won't." So many wishes, wonder what Desiree would think if she heard his wishes. Probably haunt her in her nightmares.

"Die now, die now, make it quick." It was like everyone wanted him to die. Wait, which form did they want to die again? These days it seemed like both halves of his life were filled with death threats, but really, he was the same person, why does he think his Phantom counterpart as another person. Dreams are weird, especially ones of the depressed. Why couldn't he just not wake up?

"Hurry up now, do it fast." It wasn't like he wanted to die, he wanted to escape the pain. Dying seemed so much better then this constant empty pain in his heart. Death was welcome if he could escape this.

"Choose right now. Don't make it last." He had been trying, stupid ghost powers, he just wanted to fall into that dark emptiness. Was that too much to ask?

"Gun, Pills, or a knife." Danny thought of all his choices, how they all a failed. All but one. He would make sure it would work this time.

"Hurry up now, life is strife." He wondered if they noticed that he wasn't an idiot, that they'd ever realize there was more to him then a clueless dumb little ghost boy.

Most likely not. They hadn't noticed he was digging his own grave, that he was already half dead and they were the reason he was this way. It was their fault, it was no fair that he had to pay for their mistakes.

Oh well, his death will hang over their heads for the rest of their lives. He knew it. The note he left in his drawer would destroy them.

Danny shook his head again, and smiled grimly at his reflection, "Bottoms up." Tears returned and he took no notice of them.

He brought the medicine bottle in the air, a cheers, and brought it to his lips. The halfa opened his mouth, he could taste the warm salty water, and went to dip his head back. Only for the muscles in his arms to freeze violently. He opened his eyes and stared at his hand in shock, trying to move it.

No dice.

He growled and fought against it, trying to find a way to swallow the things. His whole body seemed to freeze as well. Danny strained against it with all his might. Slowly, his arm started moving towards him again.

"Let. Me. Do it!" He grit out, tears and another sob escaping him.

Why was this happening? He just wanted to disappear. Something crawled inside his mind, pushing against his restrains. He pushed back just as frantically, both struggling for control of his body.

Just as the pills spilled into his mouth, seeming as if he'd win, a voice broke through and screamed, "STOP!"

His mind was shoved to the back as the weirdly familiar voice took over his body, making him spit up the pills. He fell to the ground when the being gently let him take the reins, letting his trembling body drop to his hands and knees. He shook and scrambled backwards until his back hit. Curling into a ball and whimpering pitifully when the the voice started whispering and cooing to him like he was a child.

"Shh, shh. It's okay, I'm finally here, you have nothing to fear with me." The voice was soft, soothing and held strength Danny was in awe of.

"Who-who are you?" He whimpered and shrank back a little, scared of this voice's opinion. It would hate him, abandon him when he needed someone the most.

The voice chuckled sadly at his thoughts and said, "You should know who I am. We are the same person you know."

Suddenly it all made sense, how every time he tried to kill himself his powers would get in the way, how his dreams were filled with weird fragments off reassurances that someone was on their way.

He knew this voice, it was-"Phantom?" He whispered.

"The one and only." Danny burst into tears, hugging himself, or Phantom, tightly.

"I t-thought I was alone. Why did you wait so long?!" He shouted at the ghost, but there was no bite, only relief washing through his form.

A guilt filled voice filled his head as Phantom stretched out slightly, busily making his scratches and scars fade, "I was too bound by your subconscious, it took time to lower your guards and finally get to you. I wanted to be there for you, I truly did, but your strength is as strong as mine."

Danny sniffed and whispered, "Can you..." He looked to the side, "Can you become a duplicate for me?" Phantom jerked back at the question, blinking at the sudden topic change.

"Uh, sure. Just let me..." He trailed off when Danny willingly let him take over, mentally snuggling into him. Phantom mentally smiled at the gentle touch before using his power to form a duplicate, one that was Phantom. Danny took over and threw himself into Phantom's arms sobbing.

Phantom easily shifted to take his weight, using his gloved hand to hold Danny's face, swiping away his tears. "Shhh." He shushed tenderly.

Danny hiccuped miserably, griping his suit tiredly, "P-please... Take me away from here."

Phantom's eyes filled with happiness as he pulled his counterpart close, "Okay."

* * *

A few months ago I was in a pitchpearl mood, then this came into my head:

Gun, Pills, or a knife.

Which one sha-all take your life.

Hurry up now, time is quick.

Do it now cause life's a bitch.

Wish you can't and wish you won't.

Die now, die now, make it quick.

Hurry up now, do it fast.

Choose right now. Don't make it last.

Gun, Pills, or a knife.

Hurry up now, life is strife.

Sooo, I had to write it down. Then memories of my anger and depression flared, and it all just tied in just nicely. Oh god what is wrong with me?!


End file.
